Okay... Last night I've changed my nickname to a anonymous name I finally can pronounce. It's a quote from New Year's Eve. Not a sober quote, indeed.

Okay. Last night I was a little drunk (East-European birthday ) and I couldn't sleep because my emotions were too heavy. I've had it all. My grandma is dying, my uncle is passed away for a year and I'm asking myself; who's next?

I'm also a fucking perfectionist in relationships (I've a lot to learn). I've got seas of time (I can paint, sew and draw, but... where's the inspiration?) and I'm always waiting. It's time for change; another home (I'm searching and calling for a year) and a job. And a study. Art studies? No future. But at least IF there's nothing for me... a home. For just the two of us.

I've booked a vacation for a week. Also... just for my love and me. It's my first vacation with him, just to go away (my mum doesn't agree, because her little girl is far away for a week). He'll be three weeks away from me (private reason). And nobody's home! Well... I have to enjoy the silence and do what I want...

I still want some shoots, paint my wall and clean my life. And most important from all... I want to be content with my life and enjoy. I don't enjoy my life enough. That doesn't mean you get drunk every night, or have vans made of money, or more women than Hank Moody (in the last season from 'Californication' he was a pussy!)... No, it means that you accept your life for what it is.

And you make future plans... That kind of stuff

Well... I'll end my rant right now, because my eyes are tired as fuck

Greetings, Eva